Sex with a Gorilla

  Melbourne Zoo had acquired a female of a very rare species of Gorilla.
>>>
>>> Within a few weeks, the gorilla became very cantankerous and difficult
>>> to handle.
>>> Upon examination, the Zoo veterinarian determined the problem.
>>>
>>> The gorilla was on heat.
>>>
>>> To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species
>>> available.
>>>
>>> While reflecting on their problem, the Zoo management noticed Kelvin, a
>>> big Kiwi lad, responsible for fixing the Zoo's machinery.
>>>
>>> Kelvin, like most Kiwis, had little sense, but seemed to be possessed
>>> with at least some ability to satisfy a female of ANY species.
>>>
>>> So, the Zoo administrators thought they might have a solution.
>>>
>>> Kelvin was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to have
>>> sex with the gorilla for $500? Kelvin showed some interest,
>>> but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.
>>>
>>> The following day, Kelvin announced that he would accept their offer,
>>> only under three conditions:
>>>
>>> "First," he said, "I don't want to have to kuss er."
>>>
>>> "Sicondly, you must niver tull anyone about thus."
>>>
>>> The Zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked
>>> what his third condition was.
>>>
>>> "Wull," said Kelvin, "You gotta guv me another week to come up with the
>>> $500."